Tale of Two (?) Disciples

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way--in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.” Charles Dickens, Tale of Two Cities, page 1.

“I am a follower of the Christ.  He called me; I left everything  and followed Him.  I went everywhere with Him from that day on.  He taught me and touched me.  I have seen Him heal the sick,  and raise the dead.  I heard Him speak the Words of Life to multitudes of followers.  I was there with Jesus, on the boat, when He told the wind and the waves to be still; I saw Him walk on the Sea of Galilee.  I have laughed and cried with Him and prayed with Him.  He is my Best Friend, my Brother, my Teacher.

“Unfortunately, though, I haven't always been the best friend He needed.  I have often fallen far short of Jesus' expectations and disappointed Him.  I could even say that I have broken His heart on more than one occasion.  In fact, when He needed me, I betrayed Him.

“For one brief moment, I put aside everything He had taught me and did what I thought was best.  And at that moment, our eyes met and He looked straight into my eyes, into my heart.  The expression on His face stopped my heart and took my breath away.  He knew what I had done and His heart was broken because I had done it.  He wasn't angry.  He had tears of love and pity in His eyes, and I wished that I could run to Him and tell Him I how sorry I was – that I hadn't meant to hurt Him...and in that very instant, I saw that He knew all that was in my heart and my mind and He loved me.  Through His tears, I could see He still loved me.”

So, which disciple is it?  Which disciple failed Jesus the most?  Judas?  Peter? Who was the most evil disciple?  We all jump to say it was Judas don't we?  But when you think it through, every single one of the disciples failed Jesus in his own way, didn't they?  They all left him to be carried away by the Roman soldiers.  So why do we think of Judas as the worst?  I mean, at least, we could argue that Judas thought he was doing something to forward what he thought was the mission of the Messiah.  All of the rest of the disciples were just plain scared! 

A big question is, was Judas doomed from the very beginning?  Some of the articles I've read seem to say so.  That's really sad to think about isn't it?  I mean, Jesus had a choice but Judas didn't?  What kind of thinking is that?  Now, I had a thought while I was studying this, that absolutely nobody mentioned, but it kind of makes sense to me.  Now, this is just my thought, but could it have been that Jesus knew that one of His disciples would betray Him, but not which one.  That it could have been that any one of the twelve could have turned against Jesus...What do you think?

I have two reasons for asking.  One, because I believe that everyone has betrayed Jesus.  We are all capable of selling Jesus out for next to nothing, and have done so, more than once.  We betray Jesus every time we take our lives out of His hands because we're too impatient or too arrogant to wait for His timing and His wisdom.  That's really what Judas is guilty of, isn't it?

We betray Jesus every time we deny that we know Him because we're afraid that the people around us won't understand and laugh at us or think less of us because we consider ourselves one of His followers.  That's all Peter is really guilty of.

And that leads me to the second part of this question:  Could Judas have been forgiven?  Could He have repented?  Again, some of the things I read imply that He did repent and was denied forgiveness.  That doesn't sound right.  And, again, this is just me, but I want to believe that he could have repented and Jesus would have forgiven him...in fact, that Jesus had already forgiven him.  But that Judas did not accept Jesus' forgiveness. 

Because, if even one of us has been denied forgiveness, than salvation becomes the arbitrary gift bestowed by an arbitrary god.  And that's just not the God I believe in.  So what would you do if you got to Heaven and Judas was there too? (I'm not claiming to have any inside knowledge; I'm just speculating.) 

We have Jesus' promise; check this out: 

“And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.”  James 5:15 and “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”  1 John 1:9

Spend a few minutes thinking what an amazing gift Jesus gave us when He spread His arms wide and took all of our sins upon Himself.

East To West

Casting Crowns

Here I am Lord,

And I'm drowning

In your sea of forgetfulness

The chains of yesterday surround me

I yearn for peace and rest

I don’t want to end up where you found me

And it echoes in my mind,

Keeps me awake tonight

I know you cast my sin as far as the east is from the west

And I stand before you now as,

As though I've never sinned

But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away

From you leaving me this way

Jesus can you show me

Just how far the east is from the west

Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been

Rising up in me again

In the arms of your mercy I find rest,

Cause you know just how far the East is from the West

From one scarred hand to the other.

I start the day the war begins

Endless reminding of my sin

And time and time again your truth is drowned out

By the storm I'm in

Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away,

From you leaving me this way

Jesus can you show me,

Just how far the East is from the West

Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been

Come rising up in me again

In the arms of your mercy I find rest

'cause you know

Just how far the East is form the West

From one scarred hand to the other.

I know you've washed me white,

Turned my darkness into light

I need your peace to get me through,

To get me through this night

Can’t live by what I feel

But by the Truth your work reveals,

I'm not holding on to you

But you're holding on to me,

You’re holding on to me

Jesus you know

Just how far the East is from the West

I don't have to see the man I've been,

Come rising up in me again

In the arms of your mercy I find rest

'cause you know just how far the East is form the West,

From one scarred hand to the other.

The Tragedy of Almost

Commentary on the Sabbath School Lesson dated 12.18.10

“A fascinating study done by Professor Vicki Medvec reveals the relative importance of subjective attitudes over and above objective circumstances. Medvec studied Olympic medalists and discovered that bronze medalists were quantifiably happier than silver medalists. Here's why: Silver medalists tended to focus on how close they came to winning gold, so they weren't satisfied with silver; bronze medalists tended to focus on how close they came to not winning a medal at all, so they were just as happy to be on the medal stand.”[1]

How do you feel about coming in second – being almost best?  Maybe once or twice isn’t too bad, but what about time after time?  What if you had to spend all your time with the person who always comes in first or actually worked for that person?  A man named Gehazi experienced just that.

Do you remember him?  Gehazi was the faithful side-kick of Elisha, and he really was faithful for a long time.  But somewhere along the way, something changed.  By the time Naaman came to see Elisha, Gehazi must really have been feeling the sting of being second.

“Then Naaman and all his attendants went back to the man of God. He stood before him and said, ‘Now I know that there is no God in all the world except in Israel. So please accept a gift from your servant.’

“The prophet answered, ‘As surely as the LORD lives, whom I serve, I will not accept a thing.’ And even though Naaman urged him, he refused.

“‘Go in peace,’ Elisha said. …

“After Naaman had traveled some distance, Gehazi, the servant of Elisha the man of God, said to himself, ‘My master was too easy on Naaman, this Aramean, by not accepting from him what he brought. As surely as the LORD lives, I will run after him and get something from him.’

“So Gehazi hurried after Naaman. When Naaman saw him running toward him, he got down from the chariot to meet him. ‘Is everything all right?’ he asked.

“‘Everything is all right,’ Gehazi answered. ‘My master sent me to say, “Two young men from the company of the prophets have just come to me from the hill country of Ephraim. Please give them a talent of silver and two sets of clothing.”’  2 Kings 5:15-22

Why?  Why do you think Gehazi did that?  I can’t imagine it was the first time Elisha had refused gifts of gratitude from people who he had helped.  What made this time different?

Maybe it was because Naaman wasn’t a Jew.  Maybe it was the amount of the reward.  Maybe it was just the cumulative effect of all the rewards that Elisha had turned down before?  Think about it.  Elisha and Gehazi had been traveling and working together for years.  Prophets don’t seem to have lived lavish, or even comfortable lives and there goes Elisha turning down another gift that, to Gehazi’s mind, would have taken some of the discomfort out of their daily activities.  And he snapped.  He wasn’t going to watch that wealth ride away with Naaman.

It was a similar issue that caused Judas to “turn to the dark side” too, wasn’t it?  In fact, there are several similarities between Judas and Gehazi.  I don’t know how long Gehazi and Elisha had been working together, but it seems to have been several years.  Judas traveled with Jesus for over 3 years.  Both Elisha and Jesus performed all kinds of miracles.  Both Jesus and Elisha lived simply, focused on serving others.  Both Judas and Gehazi seemed to be getting the message.  They went through the motions anyway.  And then, one day, greed got them in trouble.

I believe it was more than just simple greed though.  I think it was a lack of respect for the person in the number 1 spot.  It seems like both Gehazi and Judas somehow were getting the wrong message:  instead of seeing the selfless service and caring of Jesus and Elisha, they began to reinterpret their position as “handler” rather than companion. 

Companion and handler may look the same in many ways, but different in one crucial area.  A handler is someone who monitors and maybe even corrects the behavior of the person he (or she) handles.  A very subtle sense of superiority creeps into the relationship and the handler begins to see himself as actually the most important person involved, making it easier for him to begin to lose his sense of awe at the greatness of the other person.  From there it’s a short hop to believing that he should really be the one making the decisions and wielding the power. 

“The heart not given entirely to the control of Jesus Christ has a door open for Satan to enter, and the archdeceiver weaves about the soul ingenious apologies in performing its hidden purposes of evil. All these excuses and pretensions are seen of God, and are as spiderwebs in the eyes of Him who never slumbers or sleeps. Oh, how readily will the human soul find poor and wretched excuses to deceive and cover up its own course of evil, which it pursues. There is an exact judge who weigheth actions. He cannot be deceived, neither can He be mocked. He will one day strike off the covering, unveil the conscience, and sweep away these excuses as smoke.”[2]

Do we sometimes think we know better than God – that we should take control of our own lives?  That’s exactly where the enemy wants us.  Beware…

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[1] Mark Batterson, In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day(Multnomah, 2006), p. 68

[2] E.G. White, Christ Triumphant, page 171