Porcupines In Church

What? You say you’ve never met a porcupine? I’ll bet you have. In fact, you may be one yourself. I’m pretty sure I am.

“The German philosopher Schopenhauer compared the human race to a bunch of porcupines huddling together on a cold winter's night. He said, ‘The colder it gets outside, the more we huddle together for warmth; but the closer we get to one another, the more we hurt one another with our sharp quills. And in the lonely night of earth's winter eventually we begin to drift apart and wander out on our own and freeze to death in our loneliness.’”[1]

So, have you been hurt lately? Have you thought you might be better off outside in the cold? Have you hurt one of your fellow porcupines causing them to wander out on their own? How can we stay together as a church when we keep hurting each other?

Excellent question…except most of us already know the answer.

My clients are intellectually delayed adults who live in group homes. Most of them have roommates and they get into the same types of squabbles and disagreements as folks in the 3^rd, 4^th, or 5^th grade might get into. One of the things I help them with, individually, is getting along better with their roommates and housemates. We work hard on learning to apologize to and forgive each other. And I’d be surprised at how hard it is for them, except I know how hard it is for me.

That’s a problem for every one of us, isn’t it? We feel like making an apology is showing weakness. Of course, we’d be happy to forgive them, as long as they apologize first…right?

Think about it, would you rather be right (and out in the cold) or forgiven (and in the warmth with the rest of the porcupines)?

Hang on! Think about your answer…what are you willing to do to back up your choice?

“Then after some days Paul said to Barnabas, ‘Let us now go back and visit our brethren in every city where we have preached the word of the Lord, and see how they are doing.’ Now Barnabas was determined to take with them John called Mark. But Paul insisted that they should not take with them the one who had departed from them in Pamphylia, and had not gone with them to the work. Then the contention became so sharp that they parted from one another. And so Barnabas took Mark and sailed to Cyprus; but Paul chose Silas and departed, being commended by the brethren to the grace of God. And he went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches.” Acts 15:36-41

Did you get that? “The contention became so sharp that they parted from one another.” Now we know that God used their separation to increase the spread of the gospel, but Paul and Barnabas had to have been really mad at each other.

Wait a minute! Christians don’t get mad at each other, do they? We don’t disagree about anything, right? We certainly don’t ever disagree about how church work should be done.

Ahem…we’d better think about that again.

The big problem is not that we disagree about methodology from time to time, but the way we handle the disagreement. How often do we “agree to disagree” and then go on about our business? What tends to happen more often, is that we get our feelings hurt and instead of going back to that person and talking to them about it, we go to our friends and tell them how rude so-and-so was. So now, all of our friends are upset too. They tell their friends and pretty soon we have factions in the church and long standing feuds. And Satan wins because nobody is spreading the Gospel anymore, we’re all too busy poking each other with our big, puffed out, porcupine quills.

But what’s the answer? How do Christians handle disagreements and differences of opinion?

I’m glad you asked…because Jesus has the answer!

“Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’ And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.” Matthew 18:15-17

Bummer! I guess that means I have to talk to the person and try to settle things first. And the text says “you and him alone.” That does not mean standing in the church parking lot yelling at each other.

I think the trick is to first put off any kind of discussion until both of us have cooled off. Then we can meet privately and discuss, calmly, where things went off the tracks. Then, we can try to figure out how to keep it from happening again. Of course, then we don’t get the satisfaction of hearing our friends commiserate with us over what a terrible person that other person is for disagreeing with us.

We know that Paul and Barnabas and John Mark worked through their issues without splintering the early church. Years later, can you imagine them sitting around reminiscing about the disagreement and laughing at themselves? I can. “Weren’t we silly,” they’d say, shaking their heads. John Mark would laugh and remember how young, homesick and overwhelmed he was. Paul would remember how angry he’d gotten at John Mark and then at Barnabas for defending him. But then John Mark would thank Barnabas for his patience with him as he matured both emotionally and spiritually. He’d thank Paul for giving him a second chance. They’d smile and realize that “… all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

Here are some guidelines I’ve come up with for myself. I’m not saying I always use them, but, I have them.

•     Don’t take things too personally. Everybody has bad days and sometimes they just don’t realize how sharply and/or dismissively they’ve spoken.
•       Don’t spread my hurt feeling around. Nobody needs to know except the person who hurt those feelings.
•        It’s not all about me. It’s about Jesus and how best to spread His truth.
•        Apologize often. Relationships are more important that being right.
•        Forgive freely – even when the apology never comes.

“When the laborers have an abiding Christ in their own souls, when all selfishness is dead, when there is no rivalry, no strife for the supremacy, when oneness exists, when they sanctify themselves, so that love for one another is seen and felt, then the showers of the grace of the Holy Spirit will just as surely come upon them as that God’s promise will never fail in one jot or tittle.” (Ellen G. White, Selected Messages, book 1, p. 175)

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[1] Wayne Brouwer, Holland, Michigan. Leadership, Vol. 17, no. 2.

In His Image

I learned this week that lots of people have lots of different ideas about what being created “in His image” might mean.  Some of the information was very interesting…not all believable though.

One website called “bethinking.org” turned out to be especially helpful.  An article called “What is the Image of God?” had some excellent things to say.  Another author that my son pointed out to me a couple of weeks ago also has a really awesome way of discussing the beginnings of man.  That is G.K. Chesterton, a Roman Catholic who wrote in the early 1900’s.  We’ve been listening to his book, The Everlasting Man, and have been enjoying his way of expressing some very complex ideas in very simple ways…as well as being pretty funny at the same time.

Anyway, the first thing both of these gentlemen stated is that no matter what else we might believe about the Image of God, it is something unique to men and women.  No matter how genetically similar we are to chimpanzees, spiritually we are galaxies apart.

Dr. May names six characteristics that are distinct in the human race pointing to the imprint of God on our minds, hearts and spirits.

The first characteristic is creativity.  That is as opposed to operating on instinct.  Both May and Chesterton name this one element as perhaps the most striking difference between men (and women) and animals.  Although both birds and humans sing beautifully, a bird has never composed any psalm or sonata.  A bird builds his nest every year, but he has never thought to add a second floor or a picture window.  We reflect the image of a creative God who can create something from nothing.  Hallelujah!

Second, May names intelligence as the next peculiar characteristic.  Humans have the ability to understand and have rational thought.  There is nothing even remotely similar among the animals.  A dog or a horse can be trained to perform certain duties, but they don’t understand why they’re doing that thing.  They don’t contemplate the nature of their existence or the effects/consequences of their behavior beyond reward of punishment.  The Mind that keeps the planets from colliding in space has placed a tiny spark of that same intelligence in each of us.  And secular researchers cannot even begin to explain where that intelligence comes from.

Third—aesthetics.  The God who loves beauty filled his creation with it and then gave us the ability to appreciate what He had done.  No once has any creature besides a human being paid any attention at all to a breath-taking sunset.  Dr.  May tells a story about a place he visits on the Isle of Wight.  He enjoys watching those who visit for the first time. “They come round the path and stop.  The look out over Christchurch Bay…They take a deep breath and say, ‘Wow’ and then stand there in silence.  They often bring dogs.  The dogs never do this.” Dr. May says.  The dogs run around, sniff and do dog types of things…but they don’t experience to awe of seeing a beautiful sight.

Morality is another area that we both differ from the animals and reflect a tiny bit of our creator.  Humans have consciences.  And even though more and more folks seem to be ignoring theirs, we do know right from wrong and are capable of feeling guilty when we make a bad choice.  Animals don’t experience guilt, only fear of punishment.

Dr. May names the importance of relationships as a reflection of our God.  We all have the need to be part of some sort of society.  That may be different for different people to some degree, but even at creation, God made sure that Adam was not all by himself.  He gave him someone to look out for and who could look out for him.  The Bible tells us over and over that Love for the people around us is one of the highest goals we can attain.  We can’t accomplish what we need to do for Jesus without relationships with other people.

The last characteristic in which we reflect the Image of God is in our need to be spiritual.  Every single society, race, nationality has had some kind of religion.  Even when governments have made “religion” illegal, people have found ways to fill the void.  Either continuing to worship in secret or to accept the religion of the state.  Even now, in a society that often claims to have no need for gods or religions, people are filling that need with astrology, new age beliefs, and other forms of spirituality.  No animal has ever worshipped any other being or idea.  That is completely unique to humans.

Another element important about being created in the image of God is the aspect of male and female being equal parts of the whole image.  That element seems to cause another area of disagreement among different theological beliefs.  Jewish scholars believe that Adam was actually an androgynous being, containing both male and female, that God only separated as an after thought.  Hmm.  I’m not sure I agree with that.  It seems pretty far-fetched.  Keep in mind that Jewish scholars also believe that Eve was Adam’s second wife.  Again, hmmm.

Anyway, it’s pretty clear that God intended that Adam and Eve represent the various, and sometimes opposing elements of His image.  Looking at the traditional characteristics of masculinity:  assertiveness, paternal instincts, taking charge, outgoing towards the world, provides outside support and protection, logic.  And the traditional characteristics of femininity:  maternal instincts, responder, relationship oriented, intuitive, perceptive, receptive, nurturing, sheltering. 

Based on these lists of traits, God is the most fully masculine Being who has ever existed—He is also the most fully feminine Being who has ever existed.  Not manly or girly, but masculine and feminine, there’s a huge difference.  What a miracle!

Unfortunately, Satan has taken those perfect characteristics that God placed in each of us and has bent and twisted them into his likeness.

We know what happens when we allow those broken traits to rule us; all we have to do is look around or watch the news.  Men struggle with being domineering, ruthless, rigid, cold, indifferent, intimidating, unforgiving, impersonal, unapproachable, boring and unimaginative.  Women struggle with being possessive, controlling, manipulative, contriving, irrational, controlled by emotions, over-concerned with appearances or prestige, and attention demanding.

Not very nice lists are they – almost hopeless, except for one thing.  God has given us a way back to His image instead of Satan’s.  He gave us Jesus, the perfect image of Himself.

“When Adam came from the Creator's hand, he bore, in his physical, mental, and spiritual nature, a likeness to his Maker. . . .
“Through sin the divine likeness was marred, and well-nigh obliterated. Man's physical powers were weakened, his mental capacity was lessened, his spiritual vision dimmed. He had become subject to death. Yet the race was not left without hope. By infinite love and mercy the plan of salvation had been devised, and a life of probation was granted. To restore in man the image of his Maker, to bring him back to the perfection in which he was created, to promote the development of body, mind, and soul, that the divine purpose in his creation might be realized--this was to be the great work of redemption.     Though the moral image of God was almost obliterated by the sin of Adam, through the merits and power of Jesus it may be renewed. Man may stand with the moral image of God in his character; for Jesus will give it to him.” E.G.White,God’s Amazing Grace, p.246.

“…seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds; and have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him:  Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Bar-barian, Scythian, bond nor free: but Christ is all, and in all.” Colossians 3:9-11

Greed

How much of your life is motivated by greed?  Do you think there are people out there who are completely motivated by greed?  Bill Gates?  Donald Trump?  They seem like nice enough guys.  They give a bunch of money to charities.  It doesn’t look like they’re taking advantage of anybody to get more money.  Maybe they’re just really good at what they do.

Do you know anyone who you’d describe as greedy?  How would you define greed?   Somebody who wants more and more money, no matter how he (or she) gets it?  Or is that too narrow a definition?  Is it the driver who won’t merge at the end of a line of cars, but goes all the way to the front of the line and noses his way in there? (One of my pet peeves, obviously)  Can we always tell a greedy person just by looking?  Maybe not.  I’m thinking that probably all of us are greedy, otherwise, why would it bother me that that driver got in line in front of me?  Have you ever seen kids at a party with a piñata?  YIKES!  Never mind that we give kids a big stick and tell them to break something that someone made, but when it does break, we encourage our kids to get in there and grab as much candy as they can…hmmm. 

OK, so we’re all selfish, envious, and greedy, does that mean that anything we do to make money or make ourselves a better life is wrong?  Maybe…maybe not.  We’ve all heard about those folks who become so consumed by making “a better life” for their families that they completely lose touch with their spouses and children.  Their families feel cheated because all they really wanted was their mom or dad to spend some time with them.  Solomon found out that money and things weren’t what he really wanted at the end of his life.  God built us for relationships…with Him and with other people.

One of the questions that I might ask a student that I’m working with is, “Do you feel lonely even when there are other people around?”  And, kids being kids, he (or she) will usually look at me like I’m nuts and say, “No.”  But, sometimes, I’ll get a yes response and then I know that there are bigger issues to talk about.  So what do you do when you wake up some morning and realize that you are alone, even in a life full of people – wives, husbands, kids, friends, acquaintances, people you work with – alone.  How does that happen?

Sometimes, I think we are so busy just staying on schedule that we don’t have time to let other people in.  You meet folks in the hallway at work, and you nod and ask how it’s going, but neither of you expect or want any real kind of answer.  At home, you get up early, come home late, and with the kids’ homework, making/eating supper and the other evening type chores you may have in your life, you fall into bed without really talking to anyone again – and before you know it, you’re pretty much alone. 

Isn’t it wonderful to know that there is one day each week when we can pull away from deadlines, timelines and all the worldly things that clutter our lives?  What an incredible gift God has given us!  We have 24 hours to fill our loneliness with Him, with fellowship at church, and time with our families.  Saturday night the whirlwind starts up again, but for a little while, we have time. 

When my brother was just starting out as a pastor, he had a sermon in which he asked everyone in the congregation to take his shoes off, like God asked Moses to do at the burning bush.  His point was that any place where God had been was holy ground, and, if you think it through, then the Sabbath is the holy ground of time.  I liked that image so much that I wrote this “Psalm for the Sabbath”:

In the day of God’s Love, there is peacefulness.  Unlike all others is the day of the Lord.  In it He sings of His love for me.  I will not miss the Glory of the Sabbath; I will celebrate the majesty of God.Speak of the Sabbath with reverence; it is the Holy Ground of time… the most sacred room in the house of the King.  In that room you may whisper your praise to the Father and His ear will hear.And in that room, the voice of God will answer and say, “Welcome to my sacred place…my holiest of times.  Here we will speak together of love.  And, because you have elected to come, you are blessed above all others.“Then, when My holiest of rooms has passed, you will have, within yourself, a sacred room of your own that I have filled with strength and hope enough to last until my castle of solitude returns.”“Be at peace, My love will always stay in that room.And, my heart will answer, “Most blessed and joyous of days, hasten.  To be praised is the solitude of the King.”

I know it seems so obvious, and we look at Solomon and think that he’s such a dummy for loosing sight of what’s important – the only important thing – but don’t we forget almost everyday?  And we don’t have nearly the excuses that Solomon could claim!

I really believe that loving the Sabbath as a gift from a God who loves each of us and wants the very best for us, is the keystone of so many other things that we search for and long for.  And we can definitely break the bonds of oppression, greed, loneliness, and succession that Solomon is talking about in Ecclesiastes 4.  Sabbath is a day that brings everything back into perspective after Satan has done his best to skew them during the week.

I’m sure that it’s possible to go through the motions of keeping the Sabbath and not let yourself become engaged in the blessings and fellowship, but I would think that that would be really torturous.  I remember when I was a kid and only came to church because my mom made me and I could hardly stand to sit through church.  Sometimes I thought I would go crazy!  But as I grew older, I started to find reasons to enjoy Sabbath…one of them was, I didn’t have to do any homework on that day!  That was enough for me for quite a while!  In college (in Keene), I knew kids who were so driven that they would study right through Sabbath.  Well, firstly, I was never that driven to get a good grade, just ask my mom, and secondly, I think they were missing the point of going to an Adventist institution!  Also, they came out of the Sabbath more exhausted than when they started.  They may have gotten better grades that I did, but I learned to love the Sabbath and the blessings that come with it.  I learned to treasure that special time with God that I don’t always have time for during the week (I know; I’m working on it)

I think keeping Sabbath as though it is “the holy ground of time” is a big part of fixing what’s broken in me.  Sometimes, I get frustrated thinking that the stuff I need to get done this week can’t wait till sundown, but I’ve got to remind myself that Sabbath is a lot like tithe.  Earthly mathematics would tell us that it’s impossible to have more after you give something away.  But with God’s mathematics, when we give back our tithe, we don’t have 10% less; we have all we need.  When we spend our Sabbath’s learning to love God more, we don’t have 1/7^th less time to get all the other stuff done…  “The things of earth will grow strangely dim, by the light of his glory and grace.”

We won’t be oppressed because the Truth has set us free.  We won’t be greedy because God has filled our hearts with His contentment.  We won’t be lonely because He promised to be with us and in us always.  And we don’t have to worry about who will succeed us because we are God’s children, and He will make that decision.  Isn’t God good?