Leaders & Coaches & Mentors – Oh my!

Thoughts on the Sabbath School Lesson for 9.8.12

I have a set of dishes that I brought back from Germany with me that I only use on very special occasions.  The dishes were pretty expensive and, I think, beautiful, but I use them maybe three times a year. Most of the time they sit in a cabinet and collect dust. When I do bring them out, I worry about breaking a piece. Now, the dishes my family uses everyday aren’t nearly as pretty or expensive, but they can take the everyday knocking around of being used and washed and such. Which set of dishes are the most useful? Are they any less useful if they get chipped or dinged? No, not really, they just keep doing what they were made to do, dings and chips and all.

God’s not looking for fancy, fragile dishes that He can only use once in a while, “He's looking for rough-and-tumble clay pots—the kind that can be used everyday. He's looking for the kind of pots that don't need to be tucked away in a china closet, but can be sent out into a crash-bang world, carrying within them the life of Christ. The church was never meant to be a china cabinet, where precious pieces could be safely stowed out of harm's way. The church was meant to be a working kitchen, where well-worn pots are filled again and again to dispense their life-giving contents to a thirsty world.”[1]

Being a Christian isn’t a spectator sport; there aren’t even any bench-warmers. We may not realize it, but even within our own church families, we all have things to do.

“And we urge you, brethren, to recognize those who labor among you, and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love for their work’s sake. Be at peace among yourselves.  Now we exhort you, brethren, warn those who are unruly, comfort the fainthearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all. See that no one renders evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good both for yourselves and for all. Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:12-18

Now, I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a mom or dad giving her or his kids of list of things to remember to do while she (or he) is away, doesn’t it? This is Paul’s list of reminders to his little church in Thessalonica – the one with which he only got to spend three weeks. He’s not talking to them about spreading the gospel; he’s reminding them how they should treat each other, inside the church.

I think sometimes, we forget that we have a responsibility to our brothers and sisters in the church and because of that, our ultimate mission of telling the world the truth about Jesus suffers.

So, the first thing that Paul reminds us to do is to appreciate our leadership. (Ah, no eye-rolling!) Paul didn’t say we were exempt from “esteem[ing] them very highly in love” only if we thought they were doing a good job, if we agree with them, or if we liked them as individuals. He said “for their work’s sake” – just because they are our leaders.

What do you think that means? Well, I think it certainly means that we pray for our leaders, but I also think it means that we don’t complain about them to each other. That can be hard sometimes, can’t it?

Paul’s not done yet. He reminds us to “warn those who are unruly, comfort the fainthearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all. See that no one renders evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good both for yourselves and for all.”

So, is this the time to sit with our friends and “discuss” those folks who seem to be struggling? “Did you see those kids running up and down the hallways during potluck? Disgraceful!” Is this the time to tell those folks just how they should be doing things?

I think we’ve all had the experience of having someone come up to us in the middle of our difficult moment and tell us just how we should be doing things. It wasn’t very helpful was it? And, it didn’t bring us any closer to the person who was giving the instructions, did it? In fact, we probably still have a little hard place in our hearts for that person and his (or her) lack of empathy.

Our job isn’t to get mad at, gossip about, or give a piece of our minds to baby or struggling Christians. Paul tells us to gently educate the folks who seem to be out of line and to help the people who are “weak” or “fainthearted” to be stronger so they can eventually stand on their own.

Some might call that being a mentor or a coach, but it might be just being brothers and sisters in Jesus – just treating each other like Jesus treated people when He was here.

Now, even if we’re not actively involved in leading or mentoring or coaching at the moment, we still have instructions from Paul to follow: “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks;”

I love those verses! Have you ever noticed how just doing those three things can turn your whole day around? I remember when I flew home from Germany for the last time. I had a sixteen month old and I was eight months pregnant. We were moving back to Texas, but I had to fly home a couple of months ahead of time, so I was by myself. The morning I flew out of Germany, in June, there was frost on the ground. When I got off the plane in Dallas, it was 102 degrees. It had been a 12 hour flight. My mom and my aunt met me in Dallas and then drove me home to San Antonio (Yes, I could have flown, but I refused to get on another plane – I was eight months pregnant, give me a break!).

Anyway, we piled everything in my aunt’s van and headed for home…another six hours away. I was exhausted; my son was way past exhausted and tired of being contained in a car-seat. I thought we’d never make it. And then something amazing happened. My mom and aunt began to sing hymns – every hymn they knew. Pretty soon I was singing along and we were home before we knew it. The trip wasn’t a burden anymore. It was a wonderful time of praise to our Savior. Rejoicing, praying and giving thanks are a powerful mix.

“[As a child] Jesus carried into His labor cheerfulness and tact. … Often He expressed the gladness of His heart by singing psalms and heavenly songs. Often the dwellers in Nazareth heard His voice raised in praise and thanksgiving to God. He held communion with heaven in song; and as His companions complained of weariness from labor, they were cheered by the sweet melody from His lips. His praise seemed to banish the evil angels, and, like incense, fill the place with fragrance. The minds of His hearers were carried away from their earthly exile, to the heavenly home.” (Ellen G. White, The Desire of Ages, p. 73.)

I want to be like Jesus and be a blessing to others, don’t you?

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[1] Bryan Wilkerson, "Unbreakable?" PreachingToday.com

Ever was heard an Encouraging Word

Thoughts on the Sabbath School Lesson for 7.28.12

Author, Mike Howerton remembers the two vastly different ways two of his high school coaches approached encouraging the team. During one game, Howertown remembers that on one occasion, his team was losing. During halftime; the two coaches would give two very different pep talks.

“Coach Crow [came] in growling, spitting disdain in his words at us: ‘What a bunch of losers. Whaddya say let's get your girlfriends suited up; they'd do a better job. Your flimsy arm-tackles make me wanna puke. I'm gonna go look for some diapers for you babies to wear in the second half; maybe then you won't embarrass yourselves so bad.’ He'd leave, and absolute silence would descend, virtually no sound except for the muffled sobs of Monty, our kicker, in the corner. Then our defensive head coach, Coach Rush, would come in. He'd look each of us in the eyes with his steely glint. When he began to speak, you could feel strength flow into your limbs. He would begin with something like this, measured, masculine, and building in intensity: ‘I don't see high school students. I see lions. This locker room is filled with lions. A bunch of lions is called a pride. A pride of lions hunts together. A pride of lions kills together …. Lions are majestic to behold …. Lions are the kings of the land, and this is your land. You are the pride here. But there's one thing I haven't heard you lions do tonight. I haven't heard you roar. Now we're gonna go out there … and everyone in this two-bit town is gonna hear you roar because you are LIONS and LIONS ROAR!’ And we'd erupt in an ear-splitting roar (even Monty) because we weren't seniors or juniors; we were LIONS and LIONS ROAR, and we'd go out to inevitable victory. When Coach Rush died unexpectedly a few years later, he was so beloved that there was a motion to name the stadium after him.”[1]

Which coach would you work harder for? Not much of a decision is it? It’s hard to keep doing your best job when all you ever get is negative feedback, isn’t it?

In the early scenes of the movie, Full Metal Jacket, the drill instructor seems to single out one particular recruit, then takes every opportunity to verbally abuse and denigrate this recruit until finally we see that the recruit has committed suicide. Clearly, whoever made up “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me” did not understand the power of words. The marks made by sticks and stones heal, while the wounds left by words sometimes never do.

All the more reason, as we interact with our brothers and sisters in Christ that we take extra care about what we say. Paul seems to have understood how important encourage was to the Thessalonians:

“We give thanks to God always for you all, making mention of you in our prayers, remembering without ceasing your work of faith, labor of love, and patience of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ in the sight of our God and Father,” I Thessalonians 2-3

Can you imagine how differently things might have gone if Paul had started his letter with a laundry list of all the things the Thessalonians were doing that needed help? Do you think that their church would have been very successful if all they ever heard was what they were doing wrong? I’m pretty sure they would have gotten discouraged and given up.

How are we doing in our own churches? Check this out:

“There are many who, with proper encouragement, would begin in out-of-the-way places to make efforts to seek and to save that which is lost. The Lord blesses those self-sacrificing ones, who have such a hunger for souls that they are willing to go anywhere to work. But, in the past, how much encouragement has been given to such workers by their brethren? Many of them have waited for something to do, but no attention has been given to them.          
“If the ministers had given help and encouragement to these men and women, they would have been doing the work appointed them by the Lord. They have been the spiritual poverty of unworked fields, and have longed to do something to help. But it has taken so long for encouragement to come to them that many have gone into other lines of work.”(E.G. White, Spalding and Magan Collection, p 176)  

We need to be kind to our church families. It is so easy to gossip and back-bite. We get so close to each other that we can become hyper-critical, but that’s not what’s going to help us become effective Christians or a vibrant church. That’s not what’s going to help us show others how much Jesus loved us and how He died so that we could spend eternity with Him.

Stop and think. What’s something we can do right now that will show our church friends how much we appreciate them? How can we show them that our church family would be diminished if they were not with us? Is encouragement as simple as a quick hug in the foyer on Sabbath morning? a phone call? an email, note, or a text? It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate. It doesn’t even have to cost any money. It’s as simple as saying to someone, “I appreciate you.”

This week’s assignment: Think of at least one person in your church family who you can encourage.

“We give thanks to God always for you all, making mention of you in our prayers, remembering without ceasing your work of faith, labor of love, and patience of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ in the sight of our God and Father,” I Thessalonians 2-3        

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[1] Mike Howerton, Glorious Mess (Thomas Nelson, 2012), pp. 144-145